There's a war on in Borogravia. This is not unusual.
For those who don't know the series, the Discworld is a flat disc of a world, which rests on the back of four giant elephants, who, in turn, rest on the back of a giant tortoise named Great A'tuin. The disc is made up of various cities, towns, and other areas. The main city is Ankh-Morpork, which a cross between Victorian London and modern day New York, with a dash of magic instead of electricity. Then there are the Ramtops, mountains that contain various small villages, as well as a few tribes of dwarfs and trolls. Although the Discworld books follow a rough chronological order, they do not follow the same characters. There are a few major story arcs, which several books in the series return to – for instance, Commander Vimes and the Ankh-Morpork City Watch, Rincewind the Wizzard [sic], Esme Weatherwax and the other Ramtop witches, and several others. Several books follow Death, a character who is the only one to claim the distinction of showing up in every single book, in however minor a role, which is suspected to signify that Death is always with us. Of course, he's far too endearing to be scary.
So far at least, Monstrous Regiment is one of the few stand-alone novels of the series, with characters who mostly have not, as yet, been heard from again. This is a pity.
Monstrous Regiment takes place in an area of the Disc that can best be compared to Western Europe or the Middle East. Borogravia, a country comparable in some ways to Russia, is always at war with the countries surrounding it. The Borogravian language, in fact, has a word that means, "The sun has risen! Let's make war!"
As Pratchett observes, it takes a very special kind of history to fit all that in one word.
As well as the constant war, Borogravia also suffers under the thumb of the god Nuggan. Nuggan can best be described as...strict. The Books of Nuggan are ring binders, so that extra pages can easily be added to accommodate all of Nuggan's abominations, which are updated with alarming regularity. Nuggan is strictly against the colour blue, babies, girls with long hair, the smell of beets, sneezing, chocolate, garlic and cats, among other things. He's also against land that was once used for growing grain or peas being used to grow root vegetables. In a farming economy like Borogravia that means no real crop rotation, which means the land is less fertile, which means, essentially, that Borogravia is starving.
And still the war goes on. But Borogravia is running out of young men.
Polly Perks' family owns an Inn named the Duchess, in Munz, one of the bigger towns of Borogravia. According to Nugganite law, Polly can't inherit the Inn, despite being the best candidate. Her brother, Paul, could have, but he's been missing in action for the past year or so. Despite his being the elder, Polly has always been responsible for taking care of Paul. So, to this end, she cuts off her hair, practices using the bathroom standing up, gets herself a pair of trousers, and, as Oliver, joins the Borogravian regiment, the Ins-and-Outs.
Polly isn't the only one to join. There's also Tonker and Lofty, the two who are never apart. Tonker's the brave, slightly violent one, while Lofty prefers to stay in the shadows. Then there's Shufti, who can cook, and Wazzer, who doesn't do much except stutter and pray. Carborundum is a troll, who doesn't really do much except act as a tank when needed.
There's also an Igor. Igor's in the Discworld belong to an odd tribe. All of them are called Igor, and they all have scars, which are the equivalent of tribal markings. They are brilliant surgeons, although their practice of using parts from dead bodies can make some people, particularly strict Nugganites, somewhat uncomfortable. As Igor points out, however, "Soldiers don't care who patches them up".
The final recruit is Maladict, a vampire, and a Black Ribboner. On the Discworld, vampires have begun to realize that if they want to get by in a modern society, they should probably stop drinking human blood, since it tends to make them unpopular. To this end, is the Black Ribbon society, a kind of vampire Alcoholics Anonymous. Vampires cannot stop craving blood; they can merely transfer the craving to something more socially acceptable. In Maladict's case, this is coffee, a supply of which is always carried with him.
These raw recruits come under the command of Corporal Strappi, who is not the sort of person whose orders you want to follow, and Sergeant Jackrum, who is almost legendary within the Borogravian army.
Strappi is somewhat prejudiced against certain of the recruits, particularly Igor and Maladict. Sergeant Jackrum addresses his concerns somewhat sardonically. When Maladict enlists, and Strappi asks "yeah, but s'posin' he wants to suck all my blood out in the middle of the night?" Jackrum replies "Well, he'll just have to wait until Private Igor's finished looking for your brain, won't he?"
right" frameborder="0" marginheight="0" marginwidth="0" scrolling="no" src="http://rcm.amazon.com/e/cm?t=deislite-20&o=1&p=8&l=bpl&asins=0060872675&fc1=000000&IS2=1<1=_blank&m=amazon&lc1=0000FF&bc1=000000&bg1=FFFFFF&f=ifr" style="height: 245px; padding-right: 10px; padding-top: 5px; width: 131px;">Some of the City Watch characters also show up – Commander Vimes, Sergeant Angua, Reg Shoe, and Buggy Swires, to name a few. For those of you who are new to the Discworld series, there are several books focusing on the City Watch, beginning with Guards, Guards! and including Men At Arms, Feet of Clay, Jingo, the Fifth Elephant, Night Watch, Thud! And Where's My Cow?, the latter two of which were published after Monstrous Regiment. Where's My Cow? focuses on Vimes and his son, and is aimed at young children, although there are various references that older readers will appreciate. William de Worde and Otto Chriek, from The Truth also make an appearance.
As the recruits march onwards they soon discover that, as opposed to what the various propaganda given to them says, they are not winning the war. Their country is dying. And yet, they can see no way out. They are too proud to surrender to Prince Heinrich of Zoblenia, who is something of a bully, and, as we see fairly early on, not a very nice man. So, the raw recruits of the Ins-And-Outs end up being dragged deeper and deeper into a war that they cannot see any way of winning. The only hope they have is sergeant Jackrum's promise; "You are my little lads…and I will look after you."
Terry Pratchett writes, as usual, in third-person, occasionally zooming in on one characters thoughts. Monstrous Regiment is somewhat reminiscent of Jingo, in subject matter. This book also contains more real world references than many others, especially when Maladict's coffee runs out, and he begins having flash-sideways (like flashbacks, only someone else's memories) to the Vietnam War. There are several other references to the Vietnam War, including Wazzer's statement that he's "N-n-nineteen," years old.
The novel is peppered with Pratchett's trademark footnotes, and hilarious dialogue. Sometimes the most mundane things are funny, simply due to the way he tells them. For instance, Maladict's saying "yo!" rather than "yes sir" as part of the effect of his lack of coffee cracks me up every time, although it doesn't sound like it should.
As usual, in Discworld novels, Pratchett satirizes the real world in some way. The obvious themes of Monstrous Regiment are feminism, folk songs, patriotism, crippling belief systems and the military. One scene, near the beginning of the book shows the recruits marching in one direction while a large number of civilians race in the opposite direction. Many of them appear to be carrying their entire homes on their backs. The following exchange takes place between Maladict and Corporal Strappi;
"What's this all about, Sarge? These look like refugees!"
"Talk like that spreads Alarm and Despondency!"
"Oh, you mean they're just people getting away early for the holidays to avoid the rush? Sorry, I got confused. It must be that woman carrying a whole haystack we just passed."
"D' you know what can happen to you for insulting a superior officer?"
"No! Tell me, is it worse than whatever it is these people are running away from?"
"You signed up, Mr. Bloodsucker! You obey orders!"
"Right! But I don't remember anyone ordering me not to think!"
Another interesting aspect of the Discworld is that the strangest things in the books are those taken almost entirely from real life, rather than the fictional elements. An example is Pratchett's description of a battlefield as a resembling a moving city. It sounds ridiculous that a battlefield could resemble a city, but during a long siege, well, men have needs. To be honest, that isn't the best example, but there are so many small ones within this novel, and all the Discworld books, that later research will often have you saying, "I thought he made that up!" Or it does me, rather. I'm exactly the kind of person to make a point of digging out tiny references, which just makes the series more enjoyable.
Throughout this review, I've quoted examples of dialogue from the book, and this is a common side effect of Discworld novels. To annoy everyone by reciting your favourite passages. I've exercised some restraint here, but honestly, you can open the book at random, and pretty much all of it is quotable.
In summary, this is a great addition to the Discworld series, introducing new characters, expanding on previously little or unvisited countries, and returning some older characters, too. This is the Discworld book I most often recommend as an introduction to the series. It's late enough in the series that Terry Pratchett has really settled in to writing the books, and as a stand-alone, there's no back-story that needs to be explained. In some of the earliest Discworld books, I got the distinct impression that Pratchett was merely showing off at times, and sometimes the references and satire were too heavy for the book to easily cope with. Happily, this isn't a criticism that can be levied at this book. Monstrous Regiment is my single favourite Discworld book, and in such a great series, that's saying something.
