In Which We Discuss War and Peace - Chapters XVIII - XX

Chapter XVIII

Countess Rostova and her daughters are now holding court in the drawing room, while her husband shows off his collection of Turkish pipes.  The count is waiting for Marya Dmitievna Akhrosimova, nicknamed 'le terrible dragon'.  Le Dragonlady is famed "not for wealth or rank, but for common sense and frank plainness of speech".  They love her because of the good gossip and stories they get from her telling people off, while also dreading that it will be them she's telling.

The count's pipe guests are all gossiping about the war.  This reminds of nothing so much as the Superbowl Sunday stereotype of men sitting around watching football.  Shinshin (aka, Peter Nikolaevich), a cousin of the countess is there, mixing French with Russian and generally being a 19th century hipster.  He's mocking Berg, that guy Vera's into.  Berg is quiet, polite, and self-obsessed.  I shall call him Iceberg.  He's talking about his income.  I think Vera can do better.

Most people are milling around, chatting while they wait for the food to be served.  They're still waiting for le Dragonlady, but they get Pierre instead, wh

o is sitting around being awkward and in the way and making monosyllabic conversation.  The countess makes Anna amuse him; it's what she's paying her for, presumably.

Le Dragonlady finally arrives and starts rolling up her sleeves, ready to deal out an ass-whipping of common sense.

Le Dragonlady starts off gently, talking about how big the children have gotten and calling little Natasha/Nataly a 'Cossack'.  That's the little one who was insisting she would marry Darling Bory, if you recall (I had to scroll back through my posts to check).  Then she tells Pierre off for his bear shenanigans, but doesn't bring up the fact he's been sitting around in the middle of the room, getting in everyone's way and being rude to his hosts.  I feel like le Dragonlady has no fire left. 

Finally, they all head in to dinner.  Pierre gets drunk, because he was raised by wolves.  Natasha is trying to look lovingly at Darling Bory, but sometimes Pierre gets in the way; he finds this very funny.  Sonya - the cousin who was trying to flirt with Nikolai before he went off with Natasha's sister, Julie, way back in chapter Chapter XII - is feeling jealous and trying to listen to everything Julie and Nikolai are saying to one another.  The German ambassador is embarrassed that he is not offered wine; he's been trying everything so he can send a full report back to Germany, but now worries that everything thinks he's being a greedy Pierre.  No one else appears to care, or even to have noticed.

Chapter XIX

The men are talking about war again.  Apparently, Napoleon has stopped Austria, and now Russia has to face off against him.  How very tedious of him, according to Shinshin.  The German ambassador - who is very patriotic towards Russia - tells him off, quoting the Manifesto of the emperor.

Shinshin replies in a mixture of French and Russia which requires four footnotes to explain.  I think he's saying that fighting is pointless.  Nikolai steps in and agrees with the German.  Of course, he's just joined the army so he may be slightly biased.  On the other hand, Shinshin is a wanker.  Julie is very impressed with Nikolai; Sonya is pissed off.  Le Dragonlady - who really isn't all that scary or sensible; she's mostly just nosy - steps in to agree as well, while also complaining about all the noise at this end of the table.

Natasha, dared by her younger brother, stands up to shout about dessert.  Apparently, she is partly trying to attract Pierre's attention.  Le Toothless Dragonlady tries to tell her off but is ignored.  She gets pineapple ice even after Le Dragonlady says she won't.  I am very disappointed with Le Toothless Dragonlady.

Chapter XX

We have now finished dinner and are sitting down to play cards.  The count wants to have his usual after-dinner nap, but is trying to stay away and be hosty.  Julie plays the harp and then Natasha and Nikolai perform.  Natasha demands that Darling Bory and Sonya join in, but can't find Sonya.  She eventually finds her, sobbing her little broken heart out.  Natasha joins in, because she is a baby.

Sonya claims she's crying because Nikolai is going to war next week.  This may be true, Natasha also finds out that Vera has shown their mother some poetry that Nikolai and Sonya have been sharing, and tell her that their mother will not let Sonya marry Nikolai and instead he'll have to marry Julie.  I bet Nikolai will be very upset to learn of this.  Natasha tries to comfort her; apparently, Darling Bory is in favour of Sonya and Nikolai being together, although, to be fair, he said that while he was trying to get more kisses out of a thirteen-year-old.  For fucks sake, Bory.

They run off back to the drawing room to sing their quartette with Nikolai.  Nikolai then sings a new song about how much he loves a harpist.  We don't see Sonya or Julie's reaction.

The young people begin dancing.  Pierre has been cornered by Shinshin - who he finds tedious - but is rescued by Natasha, who asks for a dance.  Natasha is playing at being a grown-up society lady, dancing with a man who's been abroad and elegantly fanning herself.  That lasts until the count starts dancing with Le Toothless, at which point she bursts into laughter like a child.  The band starts playing peasant music, and all the servants come out to see their master dance.

In Which We Discuss War and Peace - Chapter XVII

We're now back with the countess Rostova; that's the one Anna was visiting before she went to see Rich Uncle Cyril.  Countess Rostova is very sad that Anna is so humiliatingly poor and takes it out on her poor maid.  Then she calls her husband in and asks for money.   Five hundred rubles, which the count increases to seven hundred.  He asks Dmitri to fetch them.  Dmitri is a 'man of good family who had been brought up in the count's house'.  Why?  Can his own good family not look after him?  Is he a ward?  What's up with Dmitri?

Dmitri begins to question the order, then catches sight of the count's face and just follows it.  Countess Rostova hands it over to Anna when she comes back.  The jammy little cow!

Then the countess and Anna cry together, because their beautiful innocent friendship has been sullied with money.  Like how Anna has to think about Uncle Cyril's money, even though she really, truly, only goes to see him because she loves him.

In Which We Discuss War and Peace - Chapter XVI

Darling Bory is now visiting with Pierre, who has been expelled from St Petersburg for bear-shenigans ('riotous conduct') and sent to Moscow.  Pierre is pretty sure that all the ladies who want Count Cyril's money will be using this story to blacken his name to his father, but he still tried to visit his old man as soon as he got home.  His cousins, identical princesses (except one has a mole) are not impressed with him.  One of them is the niece who was unimpressed with Anna.  It is not stated whether it was the one with or without the mole.

They accuse him of killing his father with his drunken-bear-shenanigans, so he goes off to sulk instead.  Prince Vasili turned up the next day to reinforce the message, so Pierre has continued to hide in his rooms and not visit his papa this entire time.

Darling Bory catches Pierre threatening and play-fighting with his shadow; presumably, he's gone a bit stir-crazy.  He's pretending to be Napoleon and sentencing one of the Pitts as a traitor to England.  Nice of him to care.

Darling Bory is now described as 'well-built and handsome' and the opinion seems to be coming from Pierre.  Apparently, they haven't seen each other since Darling Bory was fourteen.  Bory knows that Pierre doesn't recognise him, but decides to just let him feel awkward.  Pierre then mixes up half a dozen characters trying to place Darling Bory, which makes me feel a bit better.  He decides to talk military strategy - he thinks England will lose to Napoleon, if the latter can only get across the channel - but it all goes straight over Bory's head.  Darling Bory hasn't been reading his newspapers.  I am unimpressed with his soldiering.  He points out that Moscow are more interesting in 'dinner parties and scandal' than politics.

Darling Bory is now claiming that everyone except him and his mother have come to ask Uncle Cyril for money.  Anna and Darling Bory have shown up with only love and good intentions.

Darling Bory then changes the subject to war - which is discussed rather like the modern equivalents might be discussing football - and invites Pierre to dinner.  Darling Bory is then called out to leave with his mother, who is still proclaiming her familial love for Cyril and definitely not money.  In the carriage, they discuss whether Pierre stands to inherit anything.  Anna points out, again, that Cyril is very rich and she and Darling Bory are very poor; Bory knows this isn't a good reason for Cyril to give them an inheritance.

In Which We Discuss War and Peace - Chapter XV

Princess Anna and her son, Darling Bory, are heading back to the household of Count Cyril Vladimirovich Bezukhov (aka Uncle Moneybags).  Anna urges Darling Bory to be kind to his lovely, wonderful, generous uncle Cyril.  Darling Bory thinks only humiliation will come of this sucking up, but is willing to give it a go.  The butler won't let them in; Darling Bory is inclined to give up, but Anna begs to speak to Prince Vasili instead.  As they walk in, she reminds Darling Bory that he has promised to be a good little beggar.

Prince Vasili is saying goodbye to Lorrain, a doctor from St Petersburg.  I'm fairly sure he's a new character at this point.  Prince Vasili looks at Anna with an expression I would describe as "what the fuck are you doing here?".  Tolstoy calls it a "look of inquiry" that causes "an expression of profound sorrow" to pass across Anna's face.

Still, she presses on.  Darling Bory needs money.  Uncle Cyril is dying, but Prince Vasili doesn't want to dwell on that, so he asks Bory about his living arrangments.  Anna soon turns the conversation back to money, reminding Vasili that Darling Bory is Uncle Cyril's godson.  She is desperate to get in, not to make sure Cyril has written his will - although that is so important, for his own peace of mind - but because she loves her darling uncle Cyril so.  And also, it is her Christian duty.

Anna finally manages to Vasili to let her into the count's rooms, despite another neice wandering in to give her a dirty look.  Darling Bory is sent to take Pierre to a party, to get him out of Vasili's hair.  I hope there will be another bear at this one.

In Which We Discuss War and Peace - Chapters XIII and XIV

Chapter XIII

We're back with Nataly, who only ran to the conservatory before stopping and waiting for Darling Bory.  She hides when he arrives and watches him preening in a convenient mirror.  He leaves and Sonya walks in.  Nataly's still spying.  She's such a youngest.

Nikolai comes in and makes up with Sonya.  She's jealous of Julie, but doesn't want Nikolai to declare his love for her either.  That's not confusing at all.

Nataly calls darling Bory back and demands a kiss first for her doll, and then for himself.  He is understandably creeped out, but reminds her that he has promised to marry her in four years, when she turns sixteen.  I am uncomfortable.

Chapter XIV

The countess has thrown everyone out, but has decided she'd like to talk to princess Anna Mikhaylovna some more.  Vera is still her, but her mother kicks her out as well.  Vera seems testy.  She walks into the conservatory where Nikolai is copying out his very first poems for Sonya and darling Bory and Nataly and whispering together.  Presumably, they are planning the table settings.  Vera is pissed off, claims her inkwell back from Nikolai, and tells Darling Bory and Nataly that their having secrets at Nataly's age is "nonsense".  I am fond of Vera.

Nataly threatens to tell their mama about 'Berg', whoever Berg is, and Vera dares her to go ahead; their mother will be more concerned about Nataly and Boris than Vera and this mysterious Berg.  Nataly accuses Vera of being a "madame de Genlis".  Apparently, this is an insult.  I don't see why, she sounds cool.  Anyway, Darling Bory, Nikolai, Sonya, and Nataly run away shouting "Madame de Genlis" at her.  Vera is "handsome" but produces an "irritating and unpleasant effect on everyone".  I like her.

Back in the drawing room, the countess wants to know how Anna Mikhaylovna managed to get such a good job for Darling Bory, when Nikolai is only going as a cadet.  Anna tells her about asking Prince Vasili and somehow turns it around to her need for a loan, and her hopes that Cyril Bezukhov will come through; he is Darling Bory's godfather after all.  She openly wishes he were dead, so Darling Bory could have his money.  The poor man.  They'll be breaking into his safe before he's cold.

Anna and Darling Bory leave, and we get another name for rich uncle Cyril - Count Cyril Vladimirovich.  The Count wants Anna to ask him to invite Pierre over, so they can show that they throw a better party than Count Orlov (who the hell is Count Orlov?).

In Which We Discuss War & Peace - Chapter XII

Chapter XII

Nikolai Rostov, his sister Vera, Marya Lvovna Karagina's daughter Julie, and Sonya, the count's fifteen-year-old niece, which, I think, makes her Nikolai's and Nataly's cousin.  She is a little cutie-pants.

Nikolai has decided to leave university and join the military, just like darling Bory.  He'll be in the archives department (he also has nepotism armour).  The count doesn't believe a war will really happen, even though it's just been announced.  Nikolai insists that the army is his rightful place, while making eyes at his fifteen-year-old cousin.  Julie decides to flirt with him instead and Sonya goes off in a huff.  Nicholas notices and goes after her.  Darling Bory's mother, Anna, notices, and comments that "cousinhood is a dangerous neighbourhood".  She's not wrong.  In genetics, we call them cosanguinous matings if they're closer than 3rd cousins, and they're not a great idea.

Countess Rostov is absolutely positive that all her daughters share everything with her, and that Sonya will tell her immediately if anything happens with Nikolai.  Even if it does, he won't be as bad as those "Petersburg young men," (suddenly, a bear).

The count decides that everything is splendid, and boasts about Nataly's singing ability.  Of course she's not too young to have singing lessons; their mothers were married at twelve or thirteen, don't you know?  I mean, the countess waited until she was at least twenty until she started on her twelve children (maybe).  The countess thinks that Nataly is in love with Darling Bory, but, since the Countess is such a permissive mother, she is sure to hear everything, and Nataly and Bory won't be sneaking around making out in dark corners.

Countess Vera - the eldest Rostov daughter, who is only four years older than Nataly (presumably, the eldest were all boys) was raised more strictly.  Vera agrees when her mother says this, in a way that makes everyone uncomfortable.  This party is still not as good as the one with the bear.