Friday 10 October 2014

Darker than Your Wonderland, Chapters 16-17

Part 5 is here.

16: Bluffing

Things were almost the same between them after that. She didn't hug him any more – Scorpius didn't do physical affection, she knew, though he had appreciated it that time – but they'd study and read together.

Scorpius had changed since they'd met, Rose realised. He'd been a shy, quiet boy, who'd kept himself to himself. He was still shorter than her, still had a boyish face, but the girls she knew were already becoming envious of their closeness. His shyness and quietness was tempered with a charm that transfigured them into cool and aloof, now he was fourteen.

They didn't share as much as they once had. Now they were both thoroughly entrenched in puberty, they had secrets from one another. Rose developed a crush on another boy in their year, a Gryffindor, Mike Finnegan. He didn't have the glass handsomeness of Scorpius, but he was cute, and had a cheeky sort of charm that made her laugh. She enjoyed watching him, and daydreaming about him, from a distance. She never got up the courage to approach him.

Likewise, she never got up the courage to talk to Scorpius about their kiss, or about the hug. He metered out physical affection so carefully that she thought they must be important. At times, she was convinced that he was in love with her, and was only waiting for the right moment. She stacked up the evidence in her mind, and knew there could be no doubt.

At other times, she stacked the evidence again, and found quite a different total. She knew they were just friends; he'd rejected her kiss, hadn't he? He'd never touched her of his own volition, had he?

Sometimes, she thought about kissing him again, seeing what would happen. She thought he might go along with it, not because he fancied her, but simply because he trusted her. She didn't want to do that to him. She loved being friends with him, and although she daydreamed about lying in his arms to read, or kissing him again, she wasn't quite ready for any of it to really happen. The whole issue was so confusing, so contradictory, that she didn't want to share it with anyone, especially not him. She wanted to get it sorted in her head, get it all straight, then act on it, not spread her confusion to him.

It never occurred to her that he would be confused too, that he would suffer such conflicting feelings. Everyone else seemed to have things together; they seemed to know what they wanted, to know what they were doing, and why. It wasn't until she was much, much older that she realised that everyone was just as confused as she was, at fourteen. Everyone was bluffing.

17: Think

They shared a carriage again on the way back to King's Cross at the end of their third year. Rose was re-reading the book he'd given her at Christmas; Beauty, it was called. She liked the idea that beauty bred true; that things would turn out okay in the end.

As the train drew into the station, she saw Draco Malfoy waiting on the platform. She drew back, so she couldn't be seen from the windows, and told Scorpius to go on ahead, that she'd write him something on the Seposita Stilus parchment later.

Rose left the train a few minutes after Scorpius did, which gave him and his father time to find one another. She smiled at him, briefly, as she passed, and saw Draco appraising her with a cool stare. Her cheeks flushed, but she held her head high, as her parent's stories, overheard since she was a child, came flooding back.

He can think what he likes, she thought, furiously. Skip and I will always be friends. And if he ever calls me a mudblood to my face, I'll –

18: Slytherin

That year, their fourth, was the year that Aphelocoma Malfoy started at Hogwarts.

Rose and Scorpius had sent messages to each other all through the summer, but had been able to see each other very few times. For much of the summer, Scorpius had accompanied his sister in buying her school equipment.

He'd asked for the privilege, he told Rose, wanting the responsibility of caring for his sibling. Rose didn't quite understand why it meant so much to him - she'd never willingly volunteer to take care of Hugo - but she was pleased for him.

Scorpius and Alephocoma walked onto the train together. Rose was already in their usual carriage, curled up with a book. Scorpius nodded to her as he passed, his hands on his little sister's shoulders. She smiled at him, but stopped quickly when she saw Aphelocoma's expression. The younger girl looked disdainful, confused as to why Rose was smiling at her brother.

Rose watched them walked past, further into the train. That was the first year in which she and Scorpius hadn't sat together.

Aphelocoma was sorted into Slytherin, and Rose wasn't at all surprised.

Part 7 is here.

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