In Which We Discuss War and Peace - Chapter XXV

Chapter XXV

We now move 100 miles away to Bald Hills, the home of Prince Nicholas Andreevich Bolkonski.  I'm not convinced that we've met him before - I had to do a bit of googling.  He is a famed Russian general, and his son, Andrei Bokonsky, is Pierre's friend.  Andrei has a pregnant wife and has just joined the army.  I just checked, and he was in Chapters V-VII, where he was referred to as Andrew and Andre (to be fair, I've switched translations).  You see why I need these summaries?

I like Prince Nicholas, who is a different person from Nikolai Rostov.  He thinks the only evils are idleness and superstition and the only virtues are activity and intelligence.  He would love Don Tillman (of The Rosie Project).  They both keep perfect timetables.  I am in awe.  Prince Nicholas was exiled to Bald Hills by a former ruler.  He can now go back to Moscow but has decided they can all go to him instead.  And they do - every high official "considered it his duty to visit".

Nikolai is very strict and controlling; he's been giving his daughter (Mary/Maria Bolkonskaya) lessons in advanced geometry and algebra, and has arranged her life to the second.  This morning, when she arrives for her lesson, there is a letter for her from someone who appears to be named both Heloise and Julie.  Okay, Julie is Julie Karagina, and she writes in French.  She tells Maria that Maria is very beautiful, and passes on lots of news about politics.  She prays that Russia will beat Napoleon and she fancies Nikolai Rostov.  Pierre is now the Count, the three princesses have received very little, and Prince Vasili has nothing.  Many, many women now recognise what a charming and handsome man Pierre is.

Apparently, people are also pushing Julie towards Pierre.  They've been matchmaking her for the past two years, and this is the best option.  Julie also passes on that Anna Mikhaylovna is trying to set up Maria with Anatole.  I was wondering when Anatole would appear again.  Julie has also included some kind of spiritual book with the package, and asks after Andrei and his wife.

Maria writes back.  She thinks Christianity is better than men, and her father is particularly sound about the Count dying because now he feels like the last of his generation.  She feels sorry for Pierre to be burdened with such riches.  She is very tedious and holier than thou.  She's not going to read the book because Julie said some of it was hard to grasp, and what's the point in wasting time reading something you won't even understand?  She's just going to read the Bible again instead.  What a pious little snit.  She's praising the idea of being dumb and just letting God put thoughts in your mind if he wants them there.  I'm an atheist, but I much prefer the understanding that God gives mysteries not answers, and if we fail to correctly interpret the evidence around us, that's on us.  Maria has not heard that she is to be married to Anatole, but Prince Vasili will be visiting her father, and she will fulfil her marital duties no matter how painful they are.  Anatole can do much better.  Andrei is also on his way, with his wife, whom he will abandon at Bald Hills while he goes to war.

Mademoiselle Bourienne, Maria's companion tells Maria that Prince Nicholas is in a bad mood.  Apparently Maria is too prissy to even accept that information - she considers it a judgement on her father.  I would very much like to slap her, very hard, right in the face.

In Which We Discuss War and Peace - Chapter XXIV

Chapter XXIV

Pierre leaves his dying father's room with Anna Mikhaylovna, and runs into Prince Vasili and 'the princess', I forget which one.  Anna Mikhaylovna is not liked.  Everyone is having tea in a little room where Pierre used to hide during balls.

(Having used that gif, I feel obligated to point out that Perks of Being a Wallflower was an absolutely godawful book.  The central conceit - that it was written by a 16-year-old who is an exceptionally good writer - fell totally flat.  It reads like it was written by an eight-year-old with a mental disorder.  That's not intended as an insult; I literally believed I was reading a book from the point of view of an autistic child, which would have been absolutely fine if that had been intended.  It wasn't, and it's absolutely ridiculous that characters keep lauding the main character's writing skills).

Pierre is hungry, but decides he should keep following Anna, who has returned to Vasili and the other princess (still don't know which one) and is discouraging her from seeing poor dying Uncle Cyril.  Vasili finally tells us that it's Princess Catiche who wants to see Uncle Cyril, and that he thinks she should be allowed to.  Princess Catiche starts talking about the 'real will' on Uncle Cyril's dressing table, in contrast to the the portfolio she has which contains 'just a bit of paper he has forgotten about'.  Claws come out, and Anna and Catiche politely wrestle for the paper.  Anna calls in Pierre, and Catiche accuses her of making a scene outside a dying man's room.  Catiche is not wrong.  Vasili steps in, and Catiche releases the portfolio but Anna does not.  Catiche is able to snatch it back, but then her sister comes out of Uncle Cyril's room, telling them off for making a racket.  Cyril is dead.  Catiche goes to check and comes out, mad at Pierre.  This is, apparently, just what Pierre has been waiting for.  Vasili comes out and decides to make friends with a befuddled Pierre.  So presumably the will leaving Pierre everything is the one that's standing.  Anna finally takes Pierre in to see his dead father, and leaves him alone in the dark, where he is "glad no one could see his face".  He falls asleep, eventually.

(Incidentally, Tumblr has started asking me if I'm okay every time I look for a sad gif to illustrate these recaps).

Anna comes back and confirms that the will hasn't actually been opened, but everyone is pretty sure it's all going to Pierre.  She then goes back to the Rostovs, and tells them a story of a Count Cyril who remembers everyone and offers loving goodbyes, a strong and stoic Pierre, and the shocking behaviour of Vasili and Catiche - the latter as "a great secret".

In Which We Discuss War and Peace - Chapter XXIII

Chapter XXIII

Count Bezukhov - Uncle Cyril - is being given his last rites, in the presence of Pierre, Anna, Prince Vasili, and some princesses (I've lost track of the princesses).  We are predominantly following Pierre's viewpoint; he is out of his depth.  Anna has wrangled herself into helping carry Uncle Cyril around.  Pierre finally gets close to him, and follows Anna's unspoken directions in kissing his father's hand.  He is completely overwhelmed; everyone around him expects something from him, and he is big and clumsy and doesn't know what the rules are.

I like Pierre.  I reached my adult height at twelve, so I spent my formative teenage years towering over everyone around me.  I think he feels like that, but all the time.  Poor woobie.

Uncle Cyril wants to be turned over; Pierre helps the servant to do so, and as they turn Uncle Cyril, his arm flops about because he doesn't have the strength to move it.  When Uncle Cyril sees how much this terrifies Pierre, he puts on a brave smile and Pierre wells up.  Then he falls asleep and Anna takes Pierre away.

In Which We Discuss The Plant, Gerald's Game, and Dreamcatcher

Since I last updated this post in April, Stephen King has added five volumes to his bibliography.  I'm going to make a spreadsheet to give you better statistics on this thing.

Interesting.  It takes me an average of two weeks to finish a novel and I take a break of two and a half weeks between each one.  I'm 54% of the way through, with 43 books left.  If I carry on at this rate, it will take me another 1326 days, or 3.6 years.  I should be done on the 24th of June 2021.

I've not written an update in a while.  I did like the Plant; it's unfinished, though left at a point in which the major villains are dealt with, so it's kind of satisfying.  Dreamcatcher, I found a bit meh.  Good at the beginning, interesting at the end, lots of less interesting bits in the middle.  I'm going to start Black House today, which is the sequel to The Talisman.  I'm just looking up the details of what happened in the Talisman to remind me.  This is a really long-running project.

In Which We Discuss War and Peace - Chapters XXI and XX

Chapter XXI

I feel like I'm going to regret this later, but I'm getting bored of these peace chapters; I want these spoilt children in a war zone.

During the party, count Bezukhov - Rich Uncle Cyril - has his sixth stroke.  The Military Governor comes to see him; how nice.  Prince Vasili insists on talking to him before he leaves.  Everyone is sitting around and whispering.  The conversations begin with Uncle Cyril's health, but very quickly turn to his wealth.  Vasili sneaks off to speak to his cousin, the Princess Catherine, in her room.  I don't think she's been mentioned much before.  She and Vasili, along with her sisters, are the direct heirs of the count, but he's asked for Pierre to be recognised instead, despite his being raised by wolves.  Catherine protests that the will won't stand because Pierre is illegitimate; Vasili confesses that the count has written a letter the emperor for Pierre to be legitimised.  He's trying to get Catherine to destroy it before the emperor sees it, the sneaky little sod.  Catherine rejects the idea that an illegitimate bastard could inherit under any circumstances; she's so certain that she ignores everything Vasili is saying.  I'm glad she's dicking herself over; I don't like her, and I don't think she deserves any inheritance.

Catherine begins to believe Vasili when he says he's spoken to the family solicitor, Dmitri, but then decides to deny she ever wanted an inheritance.  She really never did.  But still, it's so ungrateful of uncle Cyril, after everything she's done for him (that he didn't ask for).

Catherine continues ranting and Vasili tries to bring her back by claiming that he's sure the will leaving everything to Pierre is a mistake and the count will be glad to destroy it as soon as they remind him that it exists.

By the way, as I work through this, and add gifs and videos, I realise that War and Peace is unaged.  I choose these gifs because the characters remind me of one another, despite being over a hundred years apart, and I think that says a lot about War and Peace.  People are fundamentally people, and Tolstoy captured that.

The Princess is still ranting and has now begun blaming Anna and Darling Bory; I'm not sure she's wrong.  Vasili finally gets out of her where the will is hidden while Catherine vows to give Anna a piece of her mind.

Chapter XXII

Meanwhile, Pierre and Anna are on their way to Uncle Cyril.  As they walk in, Pierre spots some people, "who look like tradespeople", scuttering about and hiding in the shadows.  Since no one else seems concerned, he decides he won't be either.  He's going to see his dying father, that's enough to be worrying about.  Also, Anna's directed them up the back stairs, but he decides not to worry too much about that either.  They walk past Princess Catherine and Vasili while Catherine is ranting, but, luckily, she slams her door in a rage and doesn't spot them.  Anna also reminds Pierre that she has cared for him like a son and will always be there for him, and, unsaid, that kind of care obviously deserves monetary reciprocation.

Anna decides to act like she's exactly where she's supposed to be, and if anyone doesn't know that, that's their problem.  Pierre decides he's going to do whatever she says, since he's out of his depth.  Poor boy was raised by wolves.  He's a bit confused that the servants have all started being deferring to him.

Vasili walks in, tells Pierre that Uncle Cyril (Pierre's father) has asked to see him, and advises him to be brave.  He also tells Pierre that Uncle Cyril has had a stroke, which confuses poor Pierre for a minute (what is the Russian for stroke?).

Poor old Uncle Cyril is dying and everyone files in.

In Which We Discuss the Fact That I Wish More People Had Read the Princess Bride

For me, The Princess Bride isn't about Buttercup and Westley.  Does that surprise you?  It's about little Billy, struggling through pneumonia and having a story read to him by his father, and their finally forging a connection.  It's little Billy taking that experience, realising that he truly loved stories, and growing up to write and create his own.  As an adult, he tries to use that original story to forge a relationship with his own son, and then with his grandson.  The story that's being shared is the one about Buttercup and Westley, and I don't want to give the wrong impression; that story is told in full. But in-between that story, in the imaginary 'boring bits' that first the fictitious Goldman senior and then the semi-fictitious William Goldman cut out, is this story, about how we relate to stories, how we love them, and how we share them with others.

The movie then, isn't a remake of the book.  It's a different version, a different grandfather sharing the same story with his grandson.  You can almost view it as a sequel to the book, another story about how we interact with stories.

I first read the book fifteen years ago, shortly after the 30th anniversary edition was released.  That edition has more than the original book, in an odd blend of fiction and reality.  While William Goldman is real, his father isn't Florinese, and he doesn't have a son.  Nor is Stephen King Florinese...but the story about casting Kathy Bates in Misery and her asking if she could tell her mom is true.  And so is all the little trivia about getting the movie made, and the rehearsals.  Like Mandy Patinkin slapping Andre the Giant across the face and saying "faster, Fezzik!", or the director recording all of Andre's lines for him verbatim, so he could try to lose his French accent before filming.  I feel like William Goldman is really interested in showing the man behind the curtain, especially in light of his work, Adventures in the Screentrade.

There's also a little more to the Princess Bride story, including a little bit more about Inigo Montoya's past and the time he found true love, but gave it up because he was still in the middle of his revenge quest.  I love Inigo's story, and I'm sad that Domingo's part is so cut down in the movie.

I feel the same way about Peter Pan, though for different reasons.  Some of the movies do have the events of book in full...but they still fail to get across the darker, sadder undercurrent of children being "young and cruel and heartless".  Peter doesn't know how to care about anyone else.  Every single woman in the book is in love with him, and he doesn't comprehend it at all, but that's more to it than that.  He forgets Hook and Tinkerbell and even Wendy for a while.  He 'thins out' the Lost Boys when they get too numerous; for Peter, nothing has consequences and nothing really matters, and there's a certain horror in that that I've never really seen in the movies.  Lost Boy by Christina Henry takes it and runs with it, in a way that really works (though, I don't really recommend Alice and Red Queen by the same author in the same way; they're less about finding what was originally in the story and bringing it out, and more "how can I make every single element a metaphor for rape and/or torture?").

In Which We Discuss War and Peace - Chapters XVIII - XX

Chapter XVIII

Countess Rostova and her daughters are now holding court in the drawing room, while her husband shows off his collection of Turkish pipes.  The count is waiting for Marya Dmitievna Akhrosimova, nicknamed 'le terrible dragon'.  Le Dragonlady is famed "not for wealth or rank, but for common sense and frank plainness of speech".  They love her because of the good gossip and stories they get from her telling people off, while also dreading that it will be them she's telling.

The count's pipe guests are all gossiping about the war.  This reminds of nothing so much as the Superbowl Sunday stereotype of men sitting around watching football.  Shinshin (aka, Peter Nikolaevich), a cousin of the countess is there, mixing French with Russian and generally being a 19th century hipster.  He's mocking Berg, that guy Vera's into.  Berg is quiet, polite, and self-obsessed.  I shall call him Iceberg.  He's talking about his income.  I think Vera can do better.

Most people are milling around, chatting while they wait for the food to be served.  They're still waiting for le Dragonlady, but they get Pierre instead, wh

o is sitting around being awkward and in the way and making monosyllabic conversation.  The countess makes Anna amuse him; it's what she's paying her for, presumably.

Le Dragonlady finally arrives and starts rolling up her sleeves, ready to deal out an ass-whipping of common sense.

Le Dragonlady starts off gently, talking about how big the children have gotten and calling little Natasha/Nataly a 'Cossack'.  That's the little one who was insisting she would marry Darling Bory, if you recall (I had to scroll back through my posts to check).  Then she tells Pierre off for his bear shenanigans, but doesn't bring up the fact he's been sitting around in the middle of the room, getting in everyone's way and being rude to his hosts.  I feel like le Dragonlady has no fire left. 

Finally, they all head in to dinner.  Pierre gets drunk, because he was raised by wolves.  Natasha is trying to look lovingly at Darling Bory, but sometimes Pierre gets in the way; he finds this very funny.  Sonya - the cousin who was trying to flirt with Nikolai before he went off with Natasha's sister, Julie, way back in chapter Chapter XII - is feeling jealous and trying to listen to everything Julie and Nikolai are saying to one another.  The German ambassador is embarrassed that he is not offered wine; he's been trying everything so he can send a full report back to Germany, but now worries that everything thinks he's being a greedy Pierre.  No one else appears to care, or even to have noticed.

Chapter XIX

The men are talking about war again.  Apparently, Napoleon has stopped Austria, and now Russia has to face off against him.  How very tedious of him, according to Shinshin.  The German ambassador - who is very patriotic towards Russia - tells him off, quoting the Manifesto of the emperor.

Shinshin replies in a mixture of French and Russia which requires four footnotes to explain.  I think he's saying that fighting is pointless.  Nikolai steps in and agrees with the German.  Of course, he's just joined the army so he may be slightly biased.  On the other hand, Shinshin is a wanker.  Julie is very impressed with Nikolai; Sonya is pissed off.  Le Dragonlady - who really isn't all that scary or sensible; she's mostly just nosy - steps in to agree as well, while also complaining about all the noise at this end of the table.

Natasha, dared by her younger brother, stands up to shout about dessert.  Apparently, she is partly trying to attract Pierre's attention.  Le Toothless Dragonlady tries to tell her off but is ignored.  She gets pineapple ice even after Le Dragonlady says she won't.  I am very disappointed with Le Toothless Dragonlady.

Chapter XX

We have now finished dinner and are sitting down to play cards.  The count wants to have his usual after-dinner nap, but is trying to stay away and be hosty.  Julie plays the harp and then Natasha and Nikolai perform.  Natasha demands that Darling Bory and Sonya join in, but can't find Sonya.  She eventually finds her, sobbing her little broken heart out.  Natasha joins in, because she is a baby.

Sonya claims she's crying because Nikolai is going to war next week.  This may be true, Natasha also finds out that Vera has shown their mother some poetry that Nikolai and Sonya have been sharing, and tell her that their mother will not let Sonya marry Nikolai and instead he'll have to marry Julie.  I bet Nikolai will be very upset to learn of this.  Natasha tries to comfort her; apparently, Darling Bory is in favour of Sonya and Nikolai being together, although, to be fair, he said that while he was trying to get more kisses out of a thirteen-year-old.  For fucks sake, Bory.

They run off back to the drawing room to sing their quartette with Nikolai.  Nikolai then sings a new song about how much he loves a harpist.  We don't see Sonya or Julie's reaction.

The young people begin dancing.  Pierre has been cornered by Shinshin - who he finds tedious - but is rescued by Natasha, who asks for a dance.  Natasha is playing at being a grown-up society lady, dancing with a man who's been abroad and elegantly fanning herself.  That lasts until the count starts dancing with Le Toothless, at which point she bursts into laughter like a child.  The band starts playing peasant music, and all the servants come out to see their master dance.

In Which We Discuss War and Peace - Chapter XVII

We're now back with the countess Rostova; that's the one Anna was visiting before she went to see Rich Uncle Cyril.  Countess Rostova is very sad that Anna is so humiliatingly poor and takes it out on her poor maid.  Then she calls her husband in and asks for money.   Five hundred rubles, which the count increases to seven hundred.  He asks Dmitri to fetch them.  Dmitri is a 'man of good family who had been brought up in the count's house'.  Why?  Can his own good family not look after him?  Is he a ward?  What's up with Dmitri?

Dmitri begins to question the order, then catches sight of the count's face and just follows it.  Countess Rostova hands it over to Anna when she comes back.  The jammy little cow!

Then the countess and Anna cry together, because their beautiful innocent friendship has been sullied with money.  Like how Anna has to think about Uncle Cyril's money, even though she really, truly, only goes to see him because she loves him.

In Which We Discuss War and Peace - Chapter XVI

Darling Bory is now visiting with Pierre, who has been expelled from St Petersburg for bear-shenigans ('riotous conduct') and sent to Moscow.  Pierre is pretty sure that all the ladies who want Count Cyril's money will be using this story to blacken his name to his father, but he still tried to visit his old man as soon as he got home.  His cousins, identical princesses (except one has a mole) are not impressed with him.  One of them is the niece who was unimpressed with Anna.  It is not stated whether it was the one with or without the mole.

They accuse him of killing his father with his drunken-bear-shenanigans, so he goes off to sulk instead.  Prince Vasili turned up the next day to reinforce the message, so Pierre has continued to hide in his rooms and not visit his papa this entire time.

Darling Bory catches Pierre threatening and play-fighting with his shadow; presumably, he's gone a bit stir-crazy.  He's pretending to be Napoleon and sentencing one of the Pitts as a traitor to England.  Nice of him to care.

Darling Bory is now described as 'well-built and handsome' and the opinion seems to be coming from Pierre.  Apparently, they haven't seen each other since Darling Bory was fourteen.  Bory knows that Pierre doesn't recognise him, but decides to just let him feel awkward.  Pierre then mixes up half a dozen characters trying to place Darling Bory, which makes me feel a bit better.  He decides to talk military strategy - he thinks England will lose to Napoleon, if the latter can only get across the channel - but it all goes straight over Bory's head.  Darling Bory hasn't been reading his newspapers.  I am unimpressed with his soldiering.  He points out that Moscow are more interesting in 'dinner parties and scandal' than politics.

Darling Bory is now claiming that everyone except him and his mother have come to ask Uncle Cyril for money.  Anna and Darling Bory have shown up with only love and good intentions.

Darling Bory then changes the subject to war - which is discussed rather like the modern equivalents might be discussing football - and invites Pierre to dinner.  Darling Bory is then called out to leave with his mother, who is still proclaiming her familial love for Cyril and definitely not money.  In the carriage, they discuss whether Pierre stands to inherit anything.  Anna points out, again, that Cyril is very rich and she and Darling Bory are very poor; Bory knows this isn't a good reason for Cyril to give them an inheritance.

In Which We Discuss War and Peace - Chapter XV

Princess Anna and her son, Darling Bory, are heading back to the household of Count Cyril Vladimirovich Bezukhov (aka Uncle Moneybags).  Anna urges Darling Bory to be kind to his lovely, wonderful, generous uncle Cyril.  Darling Bory thinks only humiliation will come of this sucking up, but is willing to give it a go.  The butler won't let them in; Darling Bory is inclined to give up, but Anna begs to speak to Prince Vasili instead.  As they walk in, she reminds Darling Bory that he has promised to be a good little beggar.

Prince Vasili is saying goodbye to Lorrain, a doctor from St Petersburg.  I'm fairly sure he's a new character at this point.  Prince Vasili looks at Anna with an expression I would describe as "what the fuck are you doing here?".  Tolstoy calls it a "look of inquiry" that causes "an expression of profound sorrow" to pass across Anna's face.

Still, she presses on.  Darling Bory needs money.  Uncle Cyril is dying, but Prince Vasili doesn't want to dwell on that, so he asks Bory about his living arrangments.  Anna soon turns the conversation back to money, reminding Vasili that Darling Bory is Uncle Cyril's godson.  She is desperate to get in, not to make sure Cyril has written his will - although that is so important, for his own peace of mind - but because she loves her darling uncle Cyril so.  And also, it is her Christian duty.

Anna finally manages to Vasili to let her into the count's rooms, despite another neice wandering in to give her a dirty look.  Darling Bory is sent to take Pierre to a party, to get him out of Vasili's hair.  I hope there will be another bear at this one.

In Which We Discuss War and Peace - Chapters XIII and XIV

Chapter XIII

We're back with Nataly, who only ran to the conservatory before stopping and waiting for Darling Bory.  She hides when he arrives and watches him preening in a convenient mirror.  He leaves and Sonya walks in.  Nataly's still spying.  She's such a youngest.

Nikolai comes in and makes up with Sonya.  She's jealous of Julie, but doesn't want Nikolai to declare his love for her either.  That's not confusing at all.

Nataly calls darling Bory back and demands a kiss first for her doll, and then for himself.  He is understandably creeped out, but reminds her that he has promised to marry her in four years, when she turns sixteen.  I am uncomfortable.

Chapter XIV

The countess has thrown everyone out, but has decided she'd like to talk to princess Anna Mikhaylovna some more.  Vera is still her, but her mother kicks her out as well.  Vera seems testy.  She walks into the conservatory where Nikolai is copying out his very first poems for Sonya and darling Bory and Nataly and whispering together.  Presumably, they are planning the table settings.  Vera is pissed off, claims her inkwell back from Nikolai, and tells Darling Bory and Nataly that their having secrets at Nataly's age is "nonsense".  I am fond of Vera.

Nataly threatens to tell their mama about 'Berg', whoever Berg is, and Vera dares her to go ahead; their mother will be more concerned about Nataly and Boris than Vera and this mysterious Berg.  Nataly accuses Vera of being a "madame de Genlis".  Apparently, this is an insult.  I don't see why, she sounds cool.  Anyway, Darling Bory, Nikolai, Sonya, and Nataly run away shouting "Madame de Genlis" at her.  Vera is "handsome" but produces an "irritating and unpleasant effect on everyone".  I like her.

Back in the drawing room, the countess wants to know how Anna Mikhaylovna managed to get such a good job for Darling Bory, when Nikolai is only going as a cadet.  Anna tells her about asking Prince Vasili and somehow turns it around to her need for a loan, and her hopes that Cyril Bezukhov will come through; he is Darling Bory's godfather after all.  She openly wishes he were dead, so Darling Bory could have his money.  The poor man.  They'll be breaking into his safe before he's cold.

Anna and Darling Bory leave, and we get another name for rich uncle Cyril - Count Cyril Vladimirovich.  The Count wants Anna to ask him to invite Pierre over, so they can show that they throw a better party than Count Orlov (who the hell is Count Orlov?).

In Which We Discuss War & Peace - Chapter XII

Chapter XII

Nikolai Rostov, his sister Vera, Marya Lvovna Karagina's daughter Julie, and Sonya, the count's fifteen-year-old niece, which, I think, makes her Nikolai's and Nataly's cousin.  She is a little cutie-pants.

Nikolai has decided to leave university and join the military, just like darling Bory.  He'll be in the archives department (he also has nepotism armour).  The count doesn't believe a war will really happen, even though it's just been announced.  Nikolai insists that the army is his rightful place, while making eyes at his fifteen-year-old cousin.  Julie decides to flirt with him instead and Sonya goes off in a huff.  Nicholas notices and goes after her.  Darling Bory's mother, Anna, notices, and comments that "cousinhood is a dangerous neighbourhood".  She's not wrong.  In genetics, we call them cosanguinous matings if they're closer than 3rd cousins, and they're not a great idea.

Countess Rostov is absolutely positive that all her daughters share everything with her, and that Sonya will tell her immediately if anything happens with Nikolai.  Even if it does, he won't be as bad as those "Petersburg young men," (suddenly, a bear).

The count decides that everything is splendid, and boasts about Nataly's singing ability.  Of course she's not too young to have singing lessons; their mothers were married at twelve or thirteen, don't you know?  I mean, the countess waited until she was at least twenty until she started on her twelve children (maybe).  The countess thinks that Nataly is in love with Darling Bory, but, since the Countess is such a permissive mother, she is sure to hear everything, and Nataly and Bory won't be sneaking around making out in dark corners.

Countess Vera - the eldest Rostov daughter, who is only four years older than Nataly (presumably, the eldest were all boys) was raised more strictly.  Vera agrees when her mother says this, in a way that makes everyone uncomfortable.  This party is still not as good as the one with the bear.

In Which We Discuss War & Peace - Chapters X and XI

Chapter X

Prince Vasili has kept a promise made to Princess Drubetskaya - who is also referred to as Anna Mikhaylovna within the same paragraph - and gotten her son, Boris a job.  Yay!  He doesn't get to be on Kutuzov's staff though, despite his mother pushing for it.

Darling Bory was raised in Moscow with/by rich relations, the Rostovs, two of whom are named Nataly.  Because the characters in this book needed to be even more confusing.  It is St Natalie's day, which, google tells me, is at the end of July.  Countess Nataly Rostov is forty-five and has had twelve children.  Bloody hell; even the narration thinks she looks tired.  Apparently, lots of people are visiting and the Count is being very fancy and greeting them all in French.  He is clean-shaven; that means he's modern, at least as far as Peter the Great was concerned, though Pyotr Alekseyvich Romanov was over a hundred years dead by the time this book was published, so what does he know?  I can't locate a source right now, but I do remember reading that the cold was a reason some men pushed back against the beard tax; perhaps Count Rostov is rich enough to stay warm in Moscow without a face blanket.  The beard tax was repealed in 1772, so it's not that he was just too cheap to pay it (being rich and cheap is not a contradiction; that's how people stay rich).

The count is manspreading like a man who enjoys life while talking about the weather "sometimes in Russian and sometimes in very bad but self-confident French".  I quite like the Count, he sounds silly.  The Count's butler is Dmitri Vsilevich.  I just looked him up, and he is also known as 'Miten'ka' - bets on when that name will show up?

The countess is sick of talking to people, but agrees to speak to Marya Lvovna Karagina and her daughter.  I don't think they've shown up before.  They're gossiping about Pierre, mostly about the fact that he was raised by wolves and his father is ill.  They think Pierre's bear-dancing and other shenanigans - which they blame on his "modern education" - will make Count Bezukhov (Pierre's father) worse.  Personally, I have a feeling that the stuff he gets up to with Anatole and Dolokhov has been going on since we found out how to make alcohol.  Marya Lvovna Karagina is shocked that there was a bear, so it's not just me.

Apparently, they decided to take the bear to visit some actresses.  When a policeman tries to halt their shenanigans, they tie him to the bear's back and let it have a swim in the canal, copper attached.  This is quite good gossip, I'm glad the countess let Marya Lvovna Karagina and her daughter in.  Dolokhov and Anatole are "regular brigands"; Dolokhov has been demoted, Pierre has been sent back to Moscow, and Anatole has been ordered out of St Petersburg ('you don't have to go home, but you can't stay here!').  The ladies try to be shocked, but get the giggles when the Count starts laughing.

They then move on to gossiping about Pierre's money.  His father has scores of bastards, so no money, but Pierre is his favourite, so maybe money.  If Pierre doesn't get it, Prince Vasili will, because his wife is - let me look this up - Aline Kuragin nee Bezhukova, Count Kirril/Cyril's sister, and Pierre's aunt.  I accidentally spoiled a future plot element for myself finding that out, but I won't tell you about it.  Apparently, Cyril/Kirril is also Anna Mikhaylovna's mother's second cousin, and the godfather to darling Bory.  Perhaps he's in for a share of those forty thousand serfs and millions of rubles.  Prince Vasili is visiting Count Cyril, presumably to check the will has been written correctly.  Count Ilya Rostov is still giggling to himself about the bear and the policeman.

Chapter XI

Countess Rostov is bored of her visitors now.  Before they can leave, the youngest Rostov, thirteen-year-old Nataly/Natasha, runs in, followed by darling Bory, and some other relatives.

Now if the youngest is thirteen and Countess Rostov is forty-five, Natasha was born when she was around thirty-two.  Twelve children then implies multiple births or that she started around the age of twenty, or possibly younger, if she had a little break.  At least she got the nappy stage over with all at once.

Darling Bory is contrasted with "the count's eldest son", Nicholas.  Which bloody count, Tolstoy?  I'm going to assume Rostov.  Yep, I checked, this is Nikolai Rostov.  He and darling Bory are the same age, and while darling Bory is tall and fair, Nikolai is short and dark.  Darling Bory mocks Natasha until she runs away and then has to go and fetch her when they all agree to go out.  This party is less fun than the one with the bear.

In Which We Discuss War & Peace - Chapters VIII and IX

Chapter VIII

We are still with Pierre and Prince Andrew; the latter is counselling the former against marriage.  Prince Andrew envies Bonparte's freedom to pursue a goal without a woman hanging around his neck like a millstone.  Like he'd be Emperor of France if only he were single.  Poor little princeling.

Prince Andrew's current passion to be single is contrasted with how very languid he was at the party.  Which, to be fair, sounded like a very dull party.

Pierre has always been a bit jealous of Andrew, so he doesn't quite understand what he's whining about.  Andrew also disapproves of the Kuragins, including Anatole (who I am still fond of, so far).  Pierre agrees not to hang out with them, at least for now (despite the fact that he's staying with them).

Chapter IX

Pierre immediately changes his mind about hanging out with Anatole, because he remembers that Anatole is fun.  Also, he already promised Anatole that he would attend, so he can't go back on that even though he just swore that he would.  The narrative calls him a "weak character".  He was raised by wolves, what do you expect?

Anatole is playing cards and drinking; Pierre is far too sober, so they fix that.  Anatole has been playing with Dolokhov, who is poor, but usually wins so it doesn't matter.  He and Anatole are famous playboys, or rather, "rakes and scapegraces".  I know 'rake' refers to men who carelessly impregnate women, but who knows what a scapegrace is?  Google says 'rascal'.  Anyway, they've decided to break a window because they can't sit comfortably on the sill and the footmen couldn't open it wide enough.  Dolokhov is now betting that he can sit outside on the sloping ledge and drink a bottle of rum.  Sounds like life in uni halls.

I've gone off Anatole a bit.  Pierre decides to make the same bet - presumably, to fit in with his new macho friends, or because he likes the look of the money they're handing to Dolokhov.  Anatole talks him down, and he decides to dance with a bear instead.  I forgot to say; there was a bear there the entire time.

In Which We Discuss War & Peace - Chapters V, VI, and VII

Chapter V

Anna is very sick of Napoleon and thinks it's ridiculous that he gets to be in charge of things.  The vicomte thinks that "good" French society will be destroyed forever.  Pierre shows his raised-by-wolves-ness by describing Napoleon as having a "great soul".  Le gasp.  Cue ladies fainting and so on.  Well, what do you expect from someone educated abroad?  He thinks that when you set out to do something, you should commit to it, and that Napoleon did that to the point of assassination, keeping the positive parts of the revolution while destroying the negative.  Prince Andrew has decided to support Pierre - which one was Prince Andrew again? - because he dislikes the vicomte.

Okay, I googled, and Prince Andrew is Andrei Nikolayevich Bolkonsky and he is married to the pregnant Princess, whom I can't recall if I've mentioned before or not.  She wasn't doing much anyway.  Prince Hippolyte tells a silly story to change the subject.

Chapter VI

Pierre is an ungracious lout who does not know how to leave a party, but he is also sweet and naive, so Anna forgives him.  He was raised by wolves, after all.  Prince Hippolyte may or may not have tried to feel up Prince Andrew's wife.

Pierre is in Russia in order to choose a career, and appears to be staying with the Bolkonskys.  His dad has given him some money and told him to pick one and get on with it.  He's been doing that for three months.

Chapter VII

Pierre is very blunt, but Lise - Princess Bolkonsky - agrees with him, that war is unnecessary and she can't see why men like it so much.  She also calls her husband Andre.  So he might be called Andre, Andrew, or Prince Bolkonsky.  You see why I found this book confusing and decided to keep notes.

Anyway, Lise is trying to set her husband up as an Aide-de-camp -personal assistant - to the emperor.  Prince Andrew seems less enthused about it.  Apparently, he has taken Lise to live with his father and sister and leaving her there while he goes off to war.  He appears to love Lise much less than she loves him, which perhaps they should have figured out before marrying and conceiving a child.  Possibly not an option for royalty.

In Which We Discuss War & Peace - Chapters II and III

I was considering splitting these posts up so each covered five sections each, but I figured that would be harder to stick to.  My comments on chapter I are here.

Chapter II


Anna's drawing room is filling up with rich people, including Prince Vasili's not-Anatole children and Princess Bolkonskaya, who is a relative of the princess they want to set Anatole up with.  I've been trying to remember where I've heard of an Anatole before, and I think it's Kerensky's first name in Red Shirts.  Princess Bolkonskaya has brought embroidery to the party.  I like her.  I bring my knitting and cross-stitch all sorts of places.  I bore easily.

Pierre has also shown up.  He is, apparently, very rude, through a mixture of confusion and naivety.  He doesn't realise how importance it is to hear an old woman he doesn't know talk about how royalty will save them from war.  Apparently, he is the bastard son of a count and was educated abroad; perhaps this is code for "raised by wolves".  Anna is worried about him, while she's trying to be a good hostess and force her friends together, like a big smashed-together melting pot.

Chapter III

So, Prince Vasili's non-Anatole son (Hippolyte) has brought a friend, Vicomte Mortemart, who sounds like an arrogant prat.  He "evidently [considers] himself a celebrity" but is being very modest and hanging out with Anna Pavlovna, who is "serving him up as a treat to her guests".  Anna is also very pleased to be talking to a vicomte.  What a star-fucker.  Apparently, Princess Helene is very beautiful and very cleavage-y, and yet also modest.  Her brother, Hippolyte - these are Prince Vasili's children - looks just like her, but is hideous.  Perhaps this is the origin of the trope that hideous men suddenly become irresistible women when in drag.  Apparently, it has to do with him being dull and stupid.  How very Roald Dahl.

In Which We Discuss Serial Reader and War and Peace

When I was younger, I owned a lot of books.  They topped out at about three-thousand, most of them from charity shops.  My grandmother would take me down her local high street and I'd pick up fifteen or twenty for £10.  It was magical.  Some of my favourite books are the ones I found in that way.  When I was twenty-four, I donated most of them back to charity shops because I'd moved twice by then and never, ever wanted to move all of those books again.  Now I own about a hundred physical books and another two hundred on my Kindle.

A small selection of my old collection, circa 2012.

I bring that up because there was a subgroup of books that I collected but never actually read, for the most part.  The old Penguin Classic paperbacks.  I was always going to read them "someday", and I justified getting rid of them by the fact that the Kindle editions are free.  Despite that, I still haven't read most of them.

One app that's helped me there is Serial Reader.  Serial reader takes those classics, cuts them up into bitesize pieces (5-15 minutes of reading), and sends them to you one day at a time.  If you have the paid version, you can read ahead, while the free version limits you to that one piece.

Another bit of backstory; I'm planning a trip to Russia, hopefully this year, if funds allow.

Serial Reader on my iPhone.

In short; I'm trying to read War and Peace.  I did try once before, and very quickly got confused as to who was who (which is, apparently, a Russian thing), so I'm going to take notes on each section as I go.  There are 235 of them.

Incidentally, I am also carrying on with my Stephen King project.  I'm just bogged down in Dreamcatcher at the moment, and also slightly addicted to Kristin Painter's Nocturne Falls series, of which I devour a book every three days or so.  That's loosely connected as well; I'm up to The Dragon Finds Forever featuring "Puff the magic MMA fighter", a Russian dragon shifter.  He's just breakfasted on syrniki.  Which I was already planning to make next week, despite my lactose intolerance, because they sound amazing.

War and Peace: Section 1

Sparknotes are here, if preferred.  I'm not reading ahead, but I am checking them at the end of each section, to see all the pretty nuances that I missed.

It's 1805.  Prince Vasili Kuragin is being told that the Buonapartes have taken over Genoa and Lucca (google: those are Italian cities).  So this little speech is about war, and it's taking place during a peaceful, high-society function.  Okay.  Anna Pavlovna is a 'maid of honour', which I don't think means head bridesmaid here, and she's a favourite of the Empress Marya Fedorovna.  Apparently, she wrote her invitations in Frence, presumably to be fancy.  England does that.  All our fancy words (beef, mansion) are from French while are commoner words (cow, house) are from German.

Apparently, the prince is also a count, and Anna Pavlovna may also call herself Annette Scherer.  You see why I was confused.  They are being very polite and courteous while speaking in fancy French.  I wonder if they are smiling?

Anna Pavlovna is afraid of revolution.  Another google search; the Russian Revolution occurred in 1905 and War and Peace was first published in 1869.   Austria does not wish for war and is betraying Russia, who must stand alone.  The English are suspicious and commercial (true), and is refusing to evacuate Malta, which sounds like us.  The emperor is Alexander, and this prince has a son and a daughter, and a youngest whom Anna doesn't like, Anatole.  She wants to marry him to Princess Mary Bolkonskaya, who is a relation of his.  Not unusual for princes.

From Genomes Unzipped (linked in text)

The Prince is tempted because Anatole is expensive and the princess may be rich.  Anna agrees to start matchmaking, while complaining - jokingly, I think - that it makes her feel old.

I quite like the name Anatole.  I hope he's in this a lot, he sounds fun.

In Which We Discuss Writing

To paraphrase Sherlock Holmes (because I can't find the exact quote I want), "when you know the details of a thousand cases, it would be very odd if you couldn't solve the thousand and first".  That's how I feel about writing.  I read so much that it would be very odd if I didn't come up with my own stories, and I do.    The oldest is one I came up with when I was ten years old; that's nearly two decades.  I've been trying to write them down for years and I tend to trail off, or get tangled up....

Anyway, I'm trying something new.  I'm using a spreadsheet!

I took a lot of inspiration from this blog post.  I already use spreadsheets for finances, grade-tracking, and schedules, so it makes sense to me to use them for writing.  As well as organising timelines and scenes - which has made a huge difference to how real my worlds feel - it's also been useful for tracking word counts.  If you're interested in NaNoWriMo specifically, there are some great spreadsheets here!

To be clear, I don't want to be a full-time writer.  I don't want the stress of rejection, or to spend all day with my own thoughts.  I just want to get these stories out of my head into the best versions possible.  When/if that gets done, I guess I'll self-publish and see if anyone wants to read them.

In Which We Discuss the Fact that I'm a Working Class Feminist Who Enjoys Atlas Shrugged

I cannot and do not attempt to speak to Ayn Rand's intentions with this post.  I can only speak to my interpretation of Atlas Shrugged, which allows me to enjoy the book when so many others like me do not.

Atlas Shrugged is something of a controversial novel.  It focuses on Dagny Taggert, an heiress and second-in-command (though, realistically, in charge) of a railroad company, founded by her grandfather and run by her brother.  A key fact in why it's disliked is that it describes a world in which people's value comes from what they create and provide for others, and in which people can be split into creators and 'second-handers' who only take from the creators and do not provide value to others in any way.  Looking at it from our culture, that's an incredibly harsh viewpoint.  It has the unstated assumption that everyone is born with the same opportunities, which isn't the case in our society, and it doesn't address cases in which people are elderly, or ill, or lacking in opportunities.  That simply never comes up in the book.

The interpretation that allows me to enjoy the book is the assumption, firstly, that Atlas Shrugged is a work of science fiction set in a similar but non-identical world, and, secondly, it isn't intended to describe the entire population; instead, it's intended to describe a specific set of highly privileged people who could and should be doing more with their privilege instead of taking it for granted.   People who should be taking responsibility, doing what they say they will, and doing it to the best of their ability.  I find that inspiring, as a goal for me personally.  Dagny is also contrasted with her brother James, who has had the exact same privilege as her plus that of being born male, and older, and automatically the heir to Taggart Transcontinental.  That support my interpretation; Dagny's accomplishments are built on her privilege; the contrast is with why James didn't try to achieve the same, not why someone less privileged didn't.

I also like that Dagny is proud of her accomplishments.  People should be proud of what they achieve.  I got excellent grades last term, because I worked hard for them.  The fact that other people also worked hard and didn't achieve those grades may speak to their lack of privilege compared to me, which I should be careful not to forget, but that doesn't mean I didn't deserve my achievements and shouldn't be proud of them.  I intend to do even better this semester; I've been getting up early and sticking to a schedule which allows me to achieve what I intend to achieve each day, as well as attending workshops at my university's learning commons to learn how to do things better.

The story, for me, seems to be about the spirit of communism overtaking America, a country Rand saw as the very antithesis of it.  Not communism as intended, and as people hope it will be; communism as it was in China and in Russia, where Ayn Rand grew up.  One of the symptoms of this infection is incompetence, and I can definitely relate to that.  Dealing with call centres where people don't associate cause and effect and literally just say random words that they don't understand and no one seems to think that this is a problem.  That's only a tiny level of what people in communist countries experience, but even on that level, I can understand why Rand dreamt of competence, of people who knew what they were doing and just got on with it.  I've also read a little on communist China and North Korea; civilisations where you were/are expected to act as if the most ridiculous things are true, and the goal wasn't to get things done but to shift the blame.  I get why you'd want to get as far away from that as possible, if you'd grown up with it.

Another factor, for me, may be that I grew up in an abusive household where, again, the goals were to shift the blame and what happened wasn't based on reality or facts but on shifting moods and outright lies.  I think, because of that, I get a great deal of satisfaction when Rand's characters say the equivalent of "no, that's bullshit, this is true".  Within the confines of Rand's imagined world, their statements are true and clear and simple, and that is such a relief to me.

I also like some aspects of how romantic relationships work, in Rand's world.  You go for the people who like you back and who inspire you to be a better person.  That's lovely.  Dagny isn't ashamed of her sexuality or of being a mistress, and although I'm not really cool with the idea of adultery, I do like that she is open about her sexuality.  I do think Ayn Rand is mistaken in writing as if the specific submissive fetish she and Dagny (and, full disclosue, I too) share is universal for all women.  It isn't.  I get it though; it's a combination of being submissive but also proud; submitting to someone 'unworthy' isn't satisfying or enjoyable, it's just degrading and fake.  So, again, because of my specific circumstances, I can relate to it on that level.  However, I do feel that Rand glosses over how difficult it can be for women, especially at the time, to rise to the top economically.  Dagny doesn't go out of her way to help other women, and there are very few other women in the same position.  Rand seems to prescribe to the theory that the reason women aren't in positions of power is because most women just aren't as good as men, because if they were, they would be.  That isn't true, and I really dislike that opinion.  But, because I'm used to a world in which men are in power and women are invisible, its not an excessive hardship to ignore that specific element here, either.   The same goes for people of colour; they just don't really exist in Rand's world, but then, they don't exist in lots of fictional worlds so, while it's not okay, it's not a problem unique to Atlas Shrugged.

So, thoughts?  Do you like or dislike Atlas Shrugged?  Why or why not?  What troubles you about it?  What do you enjoy?

In Which We Discuss My 28th Year

So...I got a little behind!  I turned twenty-nine on the twelfth of August; these are the books I read prior to that day.  My time's been taken up with preparing for the second year of my degree and with writing.  For the former, I've been using coursera courses and the module descriptions to assign pre-reading for myself.  I've struggled to stick to my study schedule, but I'm least I'm struggling now and not after the semester begins!  As for the writing, I've recently begun using spreadsheets and trying writing exercises, which I'll be sharing here.

In Which We Discuss Books I Read in my 28th Year, Weeks 39/52

Books I read in my 28th year, between the 6th-12th of May.  One pre-read and two new ones!

Chart Throb is the reread.  It's one of Ben Elton's books which I have an Audible; I've listened to it probably half a dozen times.

The Plant is an unfinished novel by Stephen King, available to download.  I'll expand more on it when I write my next dedicated King post as part of my chronological challenge.

Finally, Her Smoke Rose Up Forever is one of the best short-story collections I've ever read.  I forget what prompted me to download it, but I'm so glad that I did!

In Which We Discuss Books I Read in my 28th Year, Weeks 38/52

Three books last week, all rereads and all audiobooks.  With exams coming up, that's all I have time for!

In Which We Discuss Books I Read in my 28th Year, Weeks 37/52

Only two books this week (22nd to 28th April), both audiobooks that I'd read before.

Last week, I started watching Dr Who for the first time, ever.  I started with the tenth Doctor, and I will never accept any other.  Though David Tennant is fun.  Weirdly, I'd read stories from the extended Whoniverse before I'd ever watched the show.  Rereading Time Lord Fairy Tales having seen it, I do feel like I got more from it!

The third book in the Fire Sermon series will be released at the end of June.  That's not why I re-listened to this book now; I just felt like it.  I might wait a bit before listening to the second part of the trilogy, so there's less of a gap.

The most obvious thing about The Fire Sermon is that it's a book of foils.  Everyone is born twinned, with one alpha and one omega.  In this specific story, specific alphas aren't contrasted only to their omegas, but to other pairs of alpha and omegas.  The two key pairs face the same problem, but a different half of the pair is ultimately the more ruthless.  That's quite interesting.