Chapter XVIII
Countess Rostova and her daughters are now holding court in the drawing room, while her husband shows off his collection of Turkish pipes. The count is waiting for Marya Dmitievna Akhrosimova, nicknamed 'le terrible dragon'. Le Dragonlady is famed "not for wealth or rank, but for common sense and frank plainness of speech". They love her because of the good gossip and stories they get from her telling people off, while also dreading that it will be them she's telling.
The count's pipe guests are all gossiping about the war. This reminds of nothing so much as the Superbowl Sunday stereotype of men sitting around watching football. Shinshin (aka, Peter Nikolaevich), a cousin of the countess is there, mixing French with Russian and generally being a 19th century hipster. He's mocking Berg, that guy Vera's into. Berg is quiet, polite, and self-obsessed. I shall call him Iceberg. He's talking about his income. I think Vera can do better.
Most people are milling around, chatting while they wait for the food to be served. They're still waiting for le Dragonlady, but they get Pierre instead, wh
o is sitting around being awkward and in the way and making monosyllabic conversation. The countess makes Anna amuse him; it's what she's paying her for, presumably.
Le Dragonlady finally arrives and starts rolling up her sleeves, ready to deal out an ass-whipping of common sense.
Le Dragonlady starts off gently, talking about how big the children have gotten and calling little Natasha/Nataly a 'Cossack'. That's the little one who was insisting she would marry Darling Bory, if you recall (I had to scroll back through my posts to check). Then she tells Pierre off for his bear shenanigans, but doesn't bring up the fact he's been sitting around in the middle of the room, getting in everyone's way and being rude to his hosts. I feel like le Dragonlady has no fire left.
Finally, they all head in to dinner. Pierre gets drunk, because he was raised by wolves. Natasha is trying to look lovingly at Darling Bory, but sometimes Pierre gets in the way; he finds this very funny. Sonya - the cousin who was trying to flirt with Nikolai before he went off with Natasha's sister, Julie, way back in chapter Chapter XII - is feeling jealous and trying to listen to everything Julie and Nikolai are saying to one another. The German ambassador is embarrassed that he is not offered wine; he's been trying everything so he can send a full report back to Germany, but now worries that everything thinks he's being a greedy Pierre. No one else appears to care, or even to have noticed.
Chapter XIX
The men are talking about war again. Apparently, Napoleon has stopped Austria, and now Russia has to face off against him. How very tedious of him, according to Shinshin. The German ambassador - who is very patriotic towards Russia - tells him off, quoting the Manifesto of the emperor.
Shinshin replies in a mixture of French and Russia which requires four footnotes to explain. I think he's saying that fighting is pointless. Nikolai steps in and agrees with the German. Of course, he's just joined the army so he may be slightly biased. On the other hand, Shinshin is a wanker. Julie is very impressed with Nikolai; Sonya is pissed off. Le Dragonlady - who really isn't all that scary or sensible; she's mostly just nosy - steps in to agree as well, while also complaining about all the noise at this end of the table.
Natasha, dared by her younger brother, stands up to shout about dessert. Apparently, she is partly trying to attract Pierre's attention. Le Toothless Dragonlady tries to tell her off but is ignored. She gets pineapple ice even after Le Dragonlady says she won't. I am very disappointed with Le Toothless Dragonlady.
Chapter XX
We have now finished dinner and are sitting down to play cards. The count wants to have his usual after-dinner nap, but is trying to stay away and be hosty. Julie plays the harp and then Natasha and Nikolai perform. Natasha demands that Darling Bory and Sonya join in, but can't find Sonya. She eventually finds her, sobbing her little broken heart out. Natasha joins in, because she is a baby.
Sonya claims she's crying because Nikolai is going to war next week. This may be true, Natasha also finds out that Vera has shown their mother some poetry that Nikolai and Sonya have been sharing, and tell her that their mother will not let Sonya marry Nikolai and instead he'll have to marry Julie. I bet Nikolai will be very upset to learn of this. Natasha tries to comfort her; apparently, Darling Bory is in favour of Sonya and Nikolai being together, although, to be fair, he said that while he was trying to get more kisses out of a thirteen-year-old. For fucks sake, Bory.
They run off back to the drawing room to sing their quartette with Nikolai. Nikolai then sings a new song about how much he loves a harpist. We don't see Sonya or Julie's reaction.
The young people begin dancing. Pierre has been cornered by Shinshin - who he finds tedious - but is rescued by Natasha, who asks for a dance. Natasha is playing at being a grown-up society lady, dancing with a man who's been abroad and elegantly fanning herself. That lasts until the count starts dancing with Le Toothless, at which point she bursts into laughter like a child. The band starts playing peasant music, and all the servants come out to see their master dance.
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