In Which We Discuss the Spice Girls, and Things Not to Do

Well, the first thing not to do is neglect a blog for three months.  What can I say?  I've been busy.

The second thing not to do - or the first thing, for a published author - is to respond to a review like this;

You obviously didn't read the second clean copy I requested you download that was also reformatted, so this is a very unfair review. My Amazon readers/reviewers give it 5 stars and 4 stars and they say they really enjoyed The Greek Seaman and thought it was well written. Maybe its just my style and being English is what you don't get. Sorry it wasn't your cup of tea, but I think I will stick to my five star and four star reviews thanks.

That's Jacqueline Howett, responding to this review. A review which, fairly, in my opinion, points out that lines like "Don and Katy watched hypnotically Gino place more coffees out at another table with supreme balance" are grammatically incorrect and difficult to understand.  And not just to people who 'aren't English'.  Thanks for attempting to drag the rest of the country into your mess, Howett.

So what if "everyone else" liked it?  It's a subjective opinion.   Throwing a tantrum is not the adult way to handle it.

In other news, I've been reading Spice Girls autobiographies recently.  Namely, Geri Halliwell's If Only, Mel B's to Catch a Fire, and Victoria Beckham's Learning to Fly.

I think, for me, a good part of the appeal is the fact that these women had a hand in shaping my childhood.  Spicemania was the atmosphere I grew up in.  And, now that I'm the same age, or even, older than they were, I want to see what it looked like from the other side.  It's interesting, to see these icons of my childhood as people, rather than as larger-than-life concepts.  It's also interesting to see how three different people describe the same event.  Sometimes, one or two have forgotten it completely, and sometimes they remember differently.  It's interesting.

In Which We Discuss Frankenstein and His Monster

I joined a bookclub. For some reason, saying that makes me feel embarassingly dorky.

It's fun.  The first book was Frankenstein, and I was the mouthy, snarky kid.  I hope I didn't annoy people.  I tried to stay quiet, but I got so into it, and carried away.

Anyway, thoughts on Frankenstein.  I'd never read the book before, or seen the films, to be honest, but I'm sure that I was promised castles.  And lightening.  And an Igor. And surely, at some point, someone was supposed to yell "pull the switch!"?.

In short, yes, Frankenstein is one of the books that has grown completely out of its original novel, like a butterfly bursting from a chrysalis.   We all know the basic story - a man creates a monster, and regrets it, since the monster is ugly.  The monster begins killing people, including, eventually, his creator.

None of us had much sympathy for Viktor Frankenstein.  He ran away from his monster as soon as it came to life because it was ugly?   He'd made the damn thing!  Then, throughout the entire novel, his reasoning for finding the monster evil is purely because of its looks.  We discussed whether people at the time would have had more sympathy for Viktor, whether they would have agreed with his idea of the monster being evil because it looked evil, as modern audiences had no sympathy whatsoever.  We generally agreed that they would - our culture is very much focused on difference being okay, while theirs still hadn't really figured out how to begin to handle things like disabilities.

Viktor also completely fails to take responsibility for anything.  He talks about how God and fate set him on this path, and cursed him, and never once takes responsibility for his own actions, or tries to make amends.  OMG, cry me a river, emo kid.

I wasn't completely entranced with the writing, either.  I found the book hard to get into, especially since the monster, the most interesting character, didn't show up for the first two thirds. I also think that Mary Shelley was a godawful scientist.

I'm glad I read it, but I wasn't all that fond of it.

One interesting thing about it; it's subtitled "The Modern Prometheus", and I wondered, why Prometheus and not Pygmalion?  Pygmalion is, after all, about creating a new life, while Prometheus is about stealing fire from the gods.

Then I realised.  Pygmalion is about forming and shaping new life, which Viktor didn't do.  Instead, he stole the power of life from the gods, and had no idea what he was doing with it.

In Which We Discuss December

Number	Name	Author	Dewey	ISBN	Date Began	Date Finished
1	Carrie	Stephen King	---	---	1/12/2010	4/12/2010
2	Beowulf	Neil Gaiman, Chris Ryall, Gabriel Rodriguez	Graphic Novel	978-1600101281	3/12/2010	3/12/2010
3	Where the Heart Is	Billie Letts	---	---	4/12/2010	9/12/2010
4	Frankenstein	Mary Shelley	---	---	12/12/2010	14/12/2010
5	Professor Stewart's Hoard of Mathematical Treasures	Ian Stewart	---	---	13/12/2010	---
6	The Picador Book of Contemporary Chinese Fiction	Various	---	---	14/12/2010	---
7	The Accidental Father	Greg Williams	CF	978-0-7528-8428-8	16/12/2010	17/12/2010
8	The Lost Diaries of Adrian Mole 1999-2001	Sue Townsend	Fiction	978-0-718-15489-9	17/12/2010	18/12/2010
9	20 Fragments of a Ravenous Youth	Xiaolu Guo	Fiction	978-0-701-18155-0	18/12/2010	20/12/2010
10	Just a Little Disco on an Open-Top Bus	Candy Guard	Fiction	9780141023236	20/12/2010	22/12/2010
11	The Dark Lord of Derkholm	Diana Wynne Jones	Fiction	---	22/12/2010	28/12/2010
12	Year of the Griffin	Diana Wynne Jones	---	---	28/12/2010	30/12/2010
13	Survivor	Chuck Palahniuk	---	---	28/12/2010	---
14	Game Control	Lionel Shriver	---	---	30/12/2010	---

I'm going to split this into monthly posts, and then put it all together next year.

In Which We Discuss Alice

Yesterday, while reading Still Alice, I experienced something strange. I kept forgetting, whenever I put the book down, that I wasn't facing the same issues the character was.

That's happened once or twice in the past, and it's always very odd. For instance, while reading Around the World in Eighty Days, when I took a break, I kept feeling an odd urge to hurry, like I had limited time. When I tried to figure out why, I realised that it wasn't me in a hurry, it was Phileas Fogg and Passepartout. Likewise, here, it wasn't me with early-onset Alzheimers, it wasn't really me feeling confused and dazed, it was Alice. And Terry Pratchett.

It may have been because I was very tired yesterday, or simply because I was into the book. I don't know.

Still Alice, Lisa Geneva's debut novel, is about a Harvard Professor, Alice, who finds herself with early-onset Alzheimers. It's told in the third person, but mostly through Alice's viewpoint, and is the only book to have the stamp of approval of the Alzheimers Association.

My great grandmother had alzheimers. Not early-onset, she was in her eighties. I didn't know her very well, but I do know that it was a form with genetic causes. In another twenty years or so, we'll find out if my grandfather inherited it. Twenty years after that, whether my mother does. And so on. It's not something that I spent too much time thinking about, most of the time, but now I wonder, about my great grandmother. I think I understand a bit more of what it was like, and I wonder what life was like for her when she was young.

Another train of thought lead to me wondering about miracle cures. I knew Alice was going to get worse, that there is no cure for alzheimers. In novels about cancer patients, there is doubt, there is a chance. People do beat cancer sometimes. No one's ever beaten alzheimers.  I don't believe anyone would write a story about beating it until someone actually does.  And then, once they have, once it becomes commonplace, no one will want to write about it then, either.  It seems to be that there will only be a very small window for books about beating alzheimers.

Another thought occurs to me now. The curse Yuri faces in Shadow Hearts: Covenant, of losing his soul, and forgetting everyone he'd ever loved. He chose to die instead.

In Which We Discuss November 2010

Number	Name	Author	Dewey	ISBN	Date Began	Date Finished
1	How to Survive Your First Year in Teaching	Sue Cowley	371.102	978-1-8470-471-4	1/11/2010	16/11/2010
2	The WAGs Diary	Alison Kervin	---	---	1/11/2010	2/11/2010
3	Loose Girl	Kerry Cohen	---	978-0-09-192271-9	2/11/2010	3/11/2010
4	Aphrodite's Workshop for Reluctant Lovers	Mariko Cobbold	---	978-0-7475-7792-8	4/11/2010	5/11/2010
5	Girl's Night Out	Various	---	0-00-712203-9	4/11/2010	6/11/2010
6	Still Alice	Lisa Genova	QC	978-1-84739-62-2	7/11/2010	7/11/2010
7	The Science of Discworld	Terry Pratchett, Ian Stewart, and Jack Cohen	---	0-091-88657-0	7/11/2010	---
8	The Fantastic Book of Everybody's Secrets	Sophie Hannah	---	978-0-95489-954-7	8/11/2010	9/11/2010
9	Just a Little Disco on an Open-Top Bus	Candy Guard	---	0-141-02323-6	9/11/2010	10/11/2010
10	Hurting Distance	Sophie Hannah	---	---	10/11/2010	11/11/2010
11	The Robber Bride	Margaret Atwood	Fiction	978-1-85381-722-9	11/11/2010	16/11/2010
12	Black Orchid	Neil Gaiman	Graphic Novel	0-930289-55-2	14/11/2010	14/11/2010
13	Professor Stewart's Cabinet of Mathematical Curiosities	Ian Stewart	---	978-1-846-68345-9	14/11/2010	20/11/2010
14	On Writing	Stephen King	Fiction	0-684-85352-3	16/11/2010	17/11/2010
15	Your Friend, Rebecca	Linda Hoy	---	---	19/11/2010	19/11/2010
16	A Room Swept White	Sophie Hannah	---	---	20/11/2010	23/11/2010
17	We Need To Talk About Kevin	Lionel Shriver	---	---	20/11/2010	14/12/2010
18	Firestarter	Stephen King	---	---	20/11/2010	1/12/2010
19	The Princess Bride	William Goldman	---	---	23/11/2010	9/12/2010
20	The Undomestic Goddess	Sophie Kinsella	---	---	26/11/2010	26/11/2010

I'm going to split this into monthly posts, and then put it all together next year.

In Which We Discuss Chris Wooding

The first book of Chris Wooding's that I read was Poison, and my review is below. It was written several years ago, so it's not as thorough as it could be.


Although technically classed as a children's story, this book has enough in it to keep anyone occupied.


A lot of the book is based on the ideas of faerie tales.  What is rather fantastic about this book in particular is that it is not dumbed down at all, unlike many children's books, which seem almost artificial in parts.  This isn't an easy story, and it's not really a happy one.  There's a depth to it that you don't often find, and you'll be thinking about it long after you put it down.


All the way through the book the reader is given hints as to the ending, but this is done in such a skilled way that the time the characters take to figure it out does not seem at all protracted, unlike in many other children's books or TV shows where you find yourself cursing a characters stupidity for three hours straight.


Another thing I like about this book is that you get out of it what you put in.  A child would find it suited to their understanding, and so would a teenager and an adult.  As you grow, you begin to understand the more subtle layers in the story, and so there is always something new to see.  I've no doubt I'll be reading this for years.  Some books you grow out of it, this one you won't.


The only reason this book doesn't get five out of five is because I feel that there are more stories to be told in that world, that universe.  Until they are told, and there is more of this to read, the book falls short of perfection.  

It's taken me several years to get around to reading another of his books. I was idly browsing in the library's teenage section when I spotted The Haunting of Alaizabel Cray. Since then, I've had it out for three months (it's due back today, actually), and I only started reading it a few days ago. I don't know why I waited so long.

...I don't know why I waited so long to finish this post, either.  I liked The Haunting of Alaizabel Cray.  I liked how all the names were just a little bit off - Alaizabel, Thaniel - and the whole supernatural element.  The story takes place in a kind of alternate history, in a Victorian (if I recall correctly) London with various monsters.  If you're familiar with the Witcher stories, well, it's a London that could do with a few of those.  Thaniel's job is essentially to deal with the supernatural, to be something like a Witcher.  Or a Ghostbuster, if you prefer, only less sci-fi and more historical and mythic.

I did originally intend to make a big, indepth post about Chris Wooding as a writer, but I can't quite recall what I was going to say.

In Which We Discuss A Story Exchange

Recently, Birmingham Central Library held a story exchange. The basic idea was, to tell a story, and to take a book in exchange.  The book I chose was Girl's Night In, a book of short women's fiction.  I loved it.  I have books by most of these authors, and for good reason.  Plus, I love short stories.

The story I told is a novel idea, one that's been knocking around in my head for a while now.  It's about a married couple, James and Elodie.  One day, a group of people find James, and tell him that his wife was specifically designed for him, to keep him happy.

In the future, most of the world is ruled by a Benevolent Dictatorship, which uses an empathy machine.  This machine lets people understand each other a little better, and helps people be more patient and to work together.  One group of people refuse to be a part of this, believing that it's mind control, and these Rebels have their own series of islands.  They are not interfered with, but they wish to destroy the dictatorship, and free everyone from what they perceive to be its tyranny.

In this future, James' descendants all share an immunity to this empathy machine.  The Benevolent Dictatorship don't want his line to exist, as they want everyone to have a choice as to whether to take part or not, and the existence of his descendants prevent this.  The Rebels, on the other hand, want James' immunity turned into a virus which they can spread to everyone.

A time machine exists in the future, but it can only send people back a certain amount of time.  Say that amount of time was a year; if you went back today, you'd go back to the 28th of October 2009, whereas, if you went back tomorrow, you'd go back to the 29th of October 2009.

For this reason, the Benevolent Dictatorship - who own the time machine - focus on James' life, rather than try to prevent his parents from meeting or something.  In the original timeline, James had a miserable adulthood, and two children by different mothers, neither of whom he stayed with (or particularly liked).  The BD's strategy is to create Elodie, his perfect woman, to meet him, marry him, and keep him away from any other woman.

Elodie isn't the only woman like her.  She has a huge family of sisters and cousins, all slightly different variations of what he might want.  They all have secret badass ninja skills, too.  I'm thinking the Rebels tried attacking her before they considered simply telling James, and that, later on, she and her sisters will be required to turn into an armour of pvc clad warriors.

At some point after James and Elodie were married, the Rebels gained control of the machine.  They tried attacking Elodie, which didn't work, so, eventually, they just told James.

I think James' reaction will be to leave, initially.  He's crazy about Elodie.  Their wedding song was "You Were Made For Me", and his feelings don't change just because he now knows who it was that made her for him.  But, he feels like his whole life has been a sham, and that she's tricked him.  He needs time to get his head together, to get over the shock.  I think, during this time, one of those children could be conceived.  Call it a semi-victory.

I've had James and Elodie arguing in my head for a while now, just slowly revealing their characters and their relationship to me.  There's also an odd moment where James' realises that Elodie's mother was his "older woman" option.

Part of the problem here is that, as it stands now, there's very little conflict outside of James' head.  He'll eventually realise that he loves Elodie enough that it doesn't matter that their happiness is also part of someone elses' plan.  Plus, it's tricky for me, because I believe the BD is in the right, so, again, very little conflict there.

That's why I haven't written it.  I need to blur the lines more between the good side and the bad one.